Posting online is a pain. Everytime I come up with a new idea for an illustration I think it's gonna look good and probably people will like it. I know I shouldn't think too much about it, but at the same time if I could become a full time artist it would be a dream coming true, but everytime I post something feels like a slap on my face. Reality slapping. Then I think about the time I spend drawing (waking up soon, using almost all my free time to draw, just for nothing. I feel I improve my skills but at the same time I think "why do i keep doing this?". It's always the same.
And now with the "AI art", people who I used to collab with now became "AI bros" and it feels so humilliating. Like, why would someone claim to support artists but then just use AI? In the end I guess they just want money and fast results. It's really discouraging.

This past week has been incredibly busy. Work days leave me exhausted. I planned to spend my nights journaling to keep a sort of "track" of my days, but I get home so tired that all I end up doing is falling asleep on the couch. Last Monday, there was a nationwide blackout. In fact, neighboring countries also experienced a blackout. Nothing that required electricity was working, so driving was difficult because the traffic lights weren't working. People acted like we were back in the pandemic era of mass shopping. In my case, I went to work and did my workday until the generators at the store where I work went out. When I got home, there were tons of people on the streets chatting or playing with their kids, lol. It felt like we were back to 2000s. I found it funny, because the next day we had good weather again, but since the light was back on, the streets emptied out again. It's not something that bothers me, nor do I want to criticize it, but it was something that caught my attention.

These days I've been drawing. I'm planning to do a series of illustrations (even a compilation book if I have time) related to retro stuff and things I like, like android girls and things like that. And there's a convention I usually go to every year coming up soon! It's harder to go to conventions outside my city (having my own booth at them) because everything is more expensive, so I always try to take advantage and go to the one in my city. I signed up two days ago, but I have to wait about 20 days/a month to find out if I've been accepted or not. The truth is, I'd love to go. I feel like I'm really motivated to go to those kinds of events, since I want to have lots of new products for each year. That way, I see photos from past events and can see if I've improved or not. It's a lot of fun. I always try to go with my friend Faye, who is an incredibly talented artist and a very nice friend. We always end up chatting, sharing food and laughing a lot. She helps me to have fun in that event. I don't mean I don't have fun at the event, but I consider myself a very introverted person, so being in a space with so many people can sometimes be mentally draining, even when the people are incredibly nice. The atmosphere at that event is usually really good, and the people who attend are usually lovely, but when I finally arrive home, I feel like I don't want to talk to anyone for days. I need to recharge my social batteries :')
I'd wish I could show you what is like to be behind the booth. Food and mess everywhere lol.

So I'll be working on new illustrations and merch from now on. Especially during the next two weeks, since I'll be on vacation during those days. I'll also try to dedicate some time to recording videos to upload to YouTube. I really enjoy watching videos of people drawing and living their lives peacefully, so I'd like to try doing the same (I'll have to clean my house first, haha).
I also want to go for walks and take photos so I can use them as material for frutiger aero pics hehehe. I'm sure it will be fun ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ

Yesterday I bought a new printer. I already have one, a canon PIXMA TS5352 (pink hehe) that is SO CUTE and cheap. I bought it when I moved to my place, back in the 2020 (pandemic times). The problem I have with that one is that it consumes TONS of ink when I print illustrations and I spend so much money on catridges that it hurts :( so I bought this new printer. It's an Epson Ecotank 3850. I still have to play with the colors, but I already tried printing with that one and the ink comes out SO GOOD. I can check the quantity left and spent by just looking at the printer. The quality of the prints is super good and it barely spends ink, so I'm very happy with my new purchase. Now I'll be able to print more from home, so it's the perfect excuse to draw more ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ I want to work a lot on this so maybe in some years I can dedicate my life to being an artist. It would be a dream coming true lol.

That's why I want to give a chance to an online store. My city (and my country in general) doesn't really approve anime/manga/illustration. Of course some people enjoy it (now it's easier to see anime stuff everywhere), but I'm used to people frowning when they see young people or adults enjoying that kind of stuff. It's pretty sad.

There is still a "big" convention near my city that happens every year. Since 2017? I've been attending to this convention with my own booth and everytime that happens I feel blessed by people. I enjoy that a lot since I don't spend too much money on it (I live near the convention) so I don't worry about the money too much. Of course I want to earn money there, but I really enjoy when people come to my booth with smile. Some of them are like "woaaaaaaa" and God I want to hug them all lol. I want to attend other cities too, but it feels different because I have to spend a big amount of money between the hotel and the bus or train, so I end up thinking more about how much I should earn (っ◞‸◟ c). That's why, for now, I'll work hard on my online store. I promise I'll do my best! ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

Prueba de nuevo por si acaso

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